When People Move On

Losing Friends

Losing Friends

Over the past few years I’ve experienced quite a change. In myself, in my beliefs, in my lifestyle and in the way I relate to others. As a result of that change I have become more outspoken, more firm in my beliefs and, possibly, more offensive.

It’s been a gradual thing, starting probably 7 years ago when I finally got out of the relationship that was holding me back and into one that brought me forward. It’s seen the change from a girl who wouldn’t contemplate the possibility that maybe the gospels weren’t literally true, a girl who wouldn’t wear a short skirt or a low cut top, a girl who didn’t ever want to upset anyone or lose any friends, to the woman I am now.

I am proud of who I have become.

And yet during this transition there have been more than a few growing pains. A few casualties along the way. Some of them have been necessary and, looking back, expected in a way. People who wanted to control me have been cast aside. Others… Well, others I didn’t understand and perhaps never will.

The thing is, when you have strong beliefs, strong moral ground, strong opinions about things, people won’t like it. And they won’t stick around.

I lost a few friends last year when I declared my support for the removal of the ban of homosexual men giving blood – stating that if it is the sexual activity type and frequency of partners that causes a higher risk of infection everyone who engages in those activities should be banned, and anyone who has a high number of sexual partners should be excluded, not just men who have sex with other men, especially when it’s just one man who they have been with for years.

I’m sure I’ve lost more in the recent political wake thanks to my outspoken beliefs that Tony Abbott is not good for our country, and that I’m against the liberal party’s politics, and scared for what is to come.

I have lost friends over a great many things in my day, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to realise someone has removed you from their life. I’d be lying if I said I never went to their profiles to check if someone had deleted me. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t check up on people from time to time to see if they were following me again.

It’s a hard thing, knowing people have moved on. And, unlike in previous years when people could just pretend they were busy and had forgotten to return your call, these days it’s a conscious decision to remove someone from your social media. An action to delete them from your life. And one I have always taken seriously.

Does it still hurt me when people dump me? Of course it does. Does it make me immediately re-evaluate everything I say and do, wondering why they didn’t like me anymore? Yes. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t. But am I strong enough to push through?

I think so.

People who are liked by everyone can’t change the world. And I’d like to, I really would.

Have you ever lost someone from your life? How did you deal with it?