“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” Kate Moss
If that were true there would be no fat people. There would be no eating disorders, no body dysmorphia, no insecure supermodels and we simply know none of that is true.
The other day I was looking down at my stomach. It's mostly flat now, thanks to my restricted diet and inability to eat what I call “real food” but what actually means processed, high fat, high sugar, high carb junk. You know, the good stuff. My boobs haven't dropped in size so I've finally got the body I always wanted.
I looked down at my body, looked at the Viking and said “Kate Moss said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels but she's a lying bitch and I want food”.
I've struggled with my body for most of my life, only coming to accept it as an adult. But for the vast majority of it I've been skinny, oftentimes “too” skinny. So let me tell you what skinny feels like.
Skinny feels like not being considered a “real woman” because you don't have curves. Skinny feels like being called names or judged because people can see your bones. Skinny feels like having people tell you you can't have a heart problem because you have a good body, and clearly that means you're healthy and everything is working perfectly.
Skinny feels like having strangers ask if your boobs are fake, if you eat anything, how much you exercise. Skinny feels like not being happy in your body, just like not being skinny feels, only more socially acceptable. And more socially acceptable to have your diet and exercise scrutinised by other people, although that doesn't mean it happens more, and there's something different behind it when it does.
But even more than that – skinny isn't a feeling.
It isn't something that makes you worth more, or better, or more valuable. It doesn't make you happier, and it never will.
Your self worth cannot be tied into your appearance. If you are to learn to be happy in your body, and to love it, you need to love it no matter what it looks like. Because if you plan to love it when it gets to a certain point, that point will never come. You will never get there.
There will always be another kilo to lose, another line to erase, another thing to change. It will never be what you want it to be. And if it is, if it ever gets there. If you do a total overhaul a la Heidi Montag, it still won't make you happy.
There is no “when” in terms of your self worth. I made this years ago, and I still believe it today.
You need to love yourself now. Value yourself now. Because “when” will never come.
Do you believe nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Or do you think that's bullshit?