Love Yourself (and a manifesto or two)


In 2011 I realised I only needed one new year’s resolution for the rest of my life. It would be the same resolution every year and it would encompass every new year’s resolution anyone ever needs to make. It was simple. Just three words, that I’ve made even simpler and now it’s only two:

Love Yourself

With those two words I knew we could change the world. There’s nothing more powerful, more intimidating, more life changing and better for you than to love yourself. And when you break down that list of new year’s resolutions you may have made, you’ll see how many of them come back to this. Go to the gym twice a week, lose weight, eat more vegetables, gain muscle tone, work harder at your job, find a hobby, find a partner, spend more time with friends, prioritise the things you want to do… It all boils down to loving yourself. Respecting yourself. Looking after yourself. Because that’s all that matters.

As I wrote in 2011: You don’t need to vow to lose 10 pounds or go to the gym twice a week. You don’t need a list “as big as Charlie Sheen’s ego” of things you need to meet before you can love yourself. All you’re doing is making excuses. You are giving yourself criteria by which you can judge how worthy you are of being loved. There is no criteria for that. There are no rules for that. Just love yourself more!! Write it out, stick it on your fridge, write it on your mirror if you have to, in the glass of your shower door. Love you, accept you, and be a better you. Not someone else. It all comes back to this.

I’m sick of seeing this like this in my facebook news feed disguised as body love messages:

Body shaming bullshit

I’m sick of  sayings like “real women have curves” or “men like boobs and a bum”. It’s all bullshit. As I’ve said before: Real Women don’t have big boobs, bums, flat stomachs or tuckshop lady arms. Real Women don’t have anything… Real Women have vaginas. And some people I call women don’t even have that.

It was with these two messages in mind that I decided to create two manifestos for how I want to live. How I want to see others, especially women (although men, my new year’s resolution applies equally to you), and how I want others to see themselves. The message I want to pass on to you, our readers. And I want you to share far and wide.

So, in conjunction with Kelly Exeter from A Life Less Frantic, I bring you these two manifestos:

A Manifesto for Real Women

Real Women Have Vaginas

Real Women Have Vaginas

Love Yourself: A Manifesto

I Will Love Myself Now

As our Christmas present to you, and my encouragement to remind yourself of these things, grab these as a free download here (A Manifesto for Real Women) and here (A Manifesto For Now), or you can head on over to our store to order them as a framed print, mug, water bottle, iPhone cover or t-shirt.

Love yourself.

It’s the only change you ever need to make.


Do you have a new year’s resolution? Have you learnt to love yourself yet?

  • Casey

    I really love this…and it shall be my resolution every year too! I tend to fall victim to thinking that my life would be so much better if I had this or that, or if I worked out more, had a better job, etc, so the second manifesto in particular is a very welcome reminder for me. Thanks for posting this because I really needed to read it right now, and I suspect a lot of other people will feel the same way.

    • Tamsin Howse

      Most people need a reminder to love themselves. It’s so simple but can be so hard. Hope you print it out & put it somewhere obvious so you can remember. It’s really important. xx

  • Michelle


  • John James

    I never make new years resolutions…I don’t see the point…

    But I do love myself on a regular basis…

    • Maree Talidu

      Sorry, I teach teenage boys all day and that one just made me literally ‘lol’. You’re hilarious! X

      • Tamsin Howse


  • Maree Talidu

    Tamsin I love it and think you said it all and said it beautifully. You know the journey I’m on and this pretty much needs to be at the core of how we go about our daily lives. Thanks for being so eloquent.

    • Tamsin Howse

      For the journey you’re on this absolutely must be at the core.

  • Jen

    Really like this Tamsin :)

    I’m not much a believer in New Years resolutions myself, although I often make one which i promptly forget. One strong thought I had as I read this though was how I think my faith has a big part in allowing me to love myself, because Jesus does and also my parents have had a huge influence on this too. Glad I’m at a point in my life when this doesn’t feel too hard to do.

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  • Sam

    Hi Tamsin, what a lovely and succinct piece! Simple, forthright and so true.

    The older I get the more I begin to realise the women I find most attractive (not sexually) are those who are comfortable with themselves, and that some females I would have previously thought looked stunning I now see have good looks, yet no exuberance, no smile in the eyes, and a sense of disdain for other women that I suspect originates from a lack of love for themself.

    Accept yourself unconditionally, and you will be much happier. You will also have less need to bitch about other people, as suddenly you discover your place in the world relies upon your opinion, not others. You cannot change what others think of you, yet you can change what you think of yourself.

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