Love Yourself (and a manifesto or two)

December 14, 2012 in Body Image, Gender, Health, Meta by Tamsin Howse

In 2011 I realised I only needed one new year’s resolution for the rest of my life. It would be the same resolution every year and it would encompass every new year’s resolution anyone ever needs to make. It was simple. Just three words, that I’ve made even simpler and now it’s only two:

Love Yourself

With those two words I knew we could change the world. There’s nothing more powerful, more intimidating, more life changing and better for you than to love yourself. And when you break down that list of new year’s resolutions you may have made, you’ll see how many of them come back to this. Go to the gym twice a week, lose weight, eat more vegetables, gain muscle tone, work harder at your job, find a hobby, find a partner, spend more time with friends, prioritise the things you want to do… It all boils down to loving yourself. Respecting yourself. Looking after yourself. Because that’s all that matters.

As I wrote in 2011: You don’t need to vow to lose 10 pounds or go to the gym twice a week. You don’t need a list “as big as Charlie Sheen’s ego” of things you need to meet before you can love yourself. All you’re doing is making excuses. You are giving yourself criteria by which you can judge how worthy you are of being loved. There is no criteria for that. There are no rules for that. Just love yourself more!! Write it out, stick it on your fridge, write it on your mirror if you have to, in the glass of your shower door. Love you, accept you, and be a better you. Not someone else. It all comes back to this.

I’m sick of seeing this like this in my facebook news feed disguised as body love messages:

Body shaming bullshit

I’m sick of  sayings like “real women have curves” or “men like boobs and a bum”. It’s all bullshit. As I’ve said before: Real Women don’t have big boobs, bums, flat stomachs or tuckshop lady arms. Real Women don’t have anything… Real Women have vaginas. And some people I call women don’t even have that.

It was with these two messages in mind that I decided to create two manifestos for how I want to live. How I want to see others, especially women (although men, my new year’s resolution applies equally to you), and how I want others to see themselves. The message I want to pass on to you, our readers. And I want you to share far and wide.

So, in conjunction with Kelly Exeter from A Life Less Frantic, I bring you these two manifestos:

A Manifesto for Real Women

Real Women Have Vaginas

Real Women Have Vaginas

Love Yourself: A Manifesto

I Will Love Myself Now

As our Christmas present to you, and my encouragement to remind yourself of these things, grab these as a free download here (A Manifesto for Real Women) and here (A Manifesto For Now), or you can head on over to our store to order them as a framed print, mug, water bottle, iPhone cover or t-shirt.

Love yourself.

It’s the only change you ever need to make.


Do you have a new year’s resolution? Have you learnt to love yourself yet?

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Tamsin Howse

Founder & Editor-in-Chief
Tamsin is the Editor in Chief at KiKi & Tea. She started blogging at The Undomestic Goddess in 2009 and co-founded KiKi & Tea in March, 2012. Tamsin is a wife, stepmother and blogger with a passion for people and relationships, fashion and beauty, and an inability to successfully complete household tasks.