There are lots of good things to do when experiencing a break up. I did most of them. I wrote in a journal, I cried, I cleaned and threw out stuff. I talked to friends, and I played music. When I was feeling down, anything but confident, terrified about how I’d handle the next stage of my life, I played music.

Music that said what I needed to hear, encouraged me and gave me an outlet for my feelings. I love how music can affect mood, trigger memories, even change thinking. How many of you, as angsty teenagers, hung out in your bedrooms playing music that “spoke to you”? I feel music is essential to our human experience. It can say what we don’t have the words to articulate. It can express our feelings when we’re too wrapped up inside ourselves to communicate.

When D-Day approached (my divorce), I had a lovely friend who drove me to the courthouse and spent the day with me. I compiled this special playlist to play in her car. I chose music that would both express my feelings, and encourage me to feel positive and hopeful.

Sigh No More- Mumford and Sons

I love these lyrics: “Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free. Be more like the man you were made to be. There is a design, an alignment, a cry, of my heart to see, the beauty of love as it was made to be.” This song gives me hope, and reminds me that love can be a good thing. The melody is beautiful.

Fighter- Christina Aguilera

The old “thanks for being such a bastard ‘cos you’ve made me stronger” song. It may be cliche, but it’s true. “‘Cause if it wasn’t for all that you tried to do, I wouldn’t know just how capable I am to pull through.”

Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson

This isn’t specifically a song about a break up, but it’s a positive song about change and taking risks. It encourages me that I can handle being a single mum, which was a scary unknown thing for me at the time. “I’ll spread my wings and learn how to fly, I’ll do what it takes ’til I touch the sky….and breakaway.”

Special Ones- George

This song became my mantra during the break-up. Kate Noonan with her sublime ethereal voice, singing awesome words that I needed to hear. ”So rather than being kicked around, I’m going to kick you to the kerb. Rather than being pushed around, I’m going to push you away first. So rather than trying to protect you, I’m going to cover my bases first. Rather than trying to open my heart I’m going to lock it with a key, so that only the special ones, will ever get through to me.”

Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)- Mika

This is a fun, cheeky, self-esteem boosting song with a happy colourful film clip. When I hear it I feel good about myself.

So What- P!nk

The classic “screw you, I’m awesome” break up song from the Queen of attitude pop, P!nk.

Freedom! ’90- George Michael

Free is how I felt after finally getting out of the relationship. And the song reminds me of the 90s, which is always good.

Footloose- Kenny Loggins

A happy song you can’t help but dance to. It always boosts my mood.

Since U Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson

Another song from Kelly, this time it is about breaking up. I loved the lyrics “Since u been gone, I can breathe for the first time.”

Unwritten- Natasha Bedingfield

I love the melody of this song, and the positive feel. She sings about being unwritten, just beginning which was how I felt after getting out my marriage, like I was trying to figure myself out again. I like how she plays around with the word/book metaphor (being a writer this appeals to me). Despite singing about uncertainty in the verses, the chorus is hopeful and happy “Drench yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins.”

Learnalilgivinanlovin- Gotye

Love the melody, and the drum solo (I was a drummer at school) and the joy of this song. The lyrics remind me to not stay bitter and angry about what has happened, but keep living and loving, and share it around.

Beautiful- Christina Aguilera

Some may think this song is overplayed, and covered many times- but that is because it is such a powerful song, with great lyrics. When I was stuck in a marriage where I was told that I was fat and repulsive, and useless, and loads of other things, it is very encouraging to hear (and repeat to myself) “I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can’t bring me down. I am beautiful in every single way, yes, words can’t bring me down.”

What songs got you through a tough time? What helps you get through heartache? Do you have a playlist to share?

Featured picture found here. Other picture found here.

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