Children, Parenting

What Do You Wish Someone Had Told You About Having a Baby?

Baby-Massage

Baby-Massage

As you all would know by now, a baby is something I would like in my future. And in just over a month I turn 29 which, obviously, means I did not have a baby at 28 as I had planned (unless someone has something to tell me about cabbage patches).

And as I’m nearing time to actually bite the bullet and embark on this adventure, I’m wondering what people wish they had known.

Here’s what I know so far:

  • Sometimes people poo when they give birth. Actually. Most of the time.
  • You won’t sleep for at least a couple of months afterwards
  • Everything baby related is expensive
  • You won’t know how much you can love them until you have them
  • Don’t tell people the name beforehand
  • If you tell people you’re having a girl, they will buy you so much pink you want to puke
  • Sometimes people tear. Down there.
  • Nobody ever knows what they’re doing

I’m sure there’s more but I can’t think of it right now. So I’m handing over to you, tell me:

What do you wish someone had told you about having a baby before you had one? 

You may also like

royal-baby-2

Why The Princess of Cambridge Is Not About Diana

turning 30

It’s My Birthday and I’ll Cry If I Want To

baby-hand

The Grief of the Infertile

BabyZara

This Week: Happy Halloween!

school-holiday-activities2

Tuesday Tips: 10 School Holiday Activities on a Budget

2518283649_d5c2c68155_b

Finding Out The Gender: Surprise, It’s A…

  • http://www.kellyexeter.com.au/ Kelly Exeter

    I wish someone told me I would wake up in a pool of my own milk on Day 3 after having a baby. And I wish they’d told me about constantly leaking boobs xx

    • https://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      Hahaha! Oh dear, I shouldn’t laugh.

  • notgraig

    What I wish I’d been told? No matter how much you give up to have a baby, you will never feel empty because of it.

    • https://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      Good to know! Really reassuring, actually, because I often wonder.

  • http://hutchiesabroad.wordpress.com/ carohutchison

    The first one is the hardest, then you figure out what to do.

    What is said at 3 in the morning to your partner, should be forgotten and forgiven immediately.
    All those periods you missed when you were pregnant? You’ll more than make up for them in the six weeks after birth.
    Focus more on the raising of the baby than the birth. Just like planning what kind of marriage you want after the wedding, the birth is such a small part of parenthood. Skin to skin, no pain relief, breast or bottle, in the grand scheme of things they don’t matter, and shouldn’t define you as a parent.
    Breast feeding is really emotional, especially when not going well.

    • https://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      Why? What happens with your period after birth??

      • Kazzie

        Well, every mother is different with their periods … but my periods came immediately after every single (3) births I had … the heavy periods lasted for approx. 4 weeks, then it tapers off for another 2 weeks. After that, my periods went back to my usual monthly pattern.

        • shelie

          I think Caro’s comment wasn’t about the return of menstrual periods, it was about the normal postpartum bleeding that can last 6 weeks or more after giving birth. Definitely a big change to being period free during pregnancy. I’m now 5 months postpartum and still no period.

          • https://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

            I didn’t know about postpartum bleeding! See! This is why I need everyone’s advice!

          • Kris

            Yeah, dude, you bleed for a few weeks after – starts off like a reeeeally heavy period then tails off. Same applies if you have a caesarean, too. It’s not that bad. Bodies are so clever though – breastfeeding sets your uterus going back to it’s normal size. I could feel the cramps! Good times.

  • Kazzie

    35 years ago, I wished l was told about taking Agarol (laxative) liquid after birth for a much easier bowel movements. I was in sheer agony! in the hospital loo because I was sore down there after giving birth to my 1st child. So make sure, the nurses (or yourself) give you some laxative liquid nightly for a few months till your nether regions are better again. Not trying to scare you, but this needs to be told. :)

  • Smaggle

    I’m freaking terrified of having babies. It sounds dreadul… BUT I do have a niece who owns a huge chunk of my heart and she delights me daily so maybe the whole shebang isn’t as bad as it sounds.

    • https://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      I’m terrified! It’ll change everything. But I’m also excited at the prospect.
      As far as I can tell kids ruin your body, turn your life upside down and take all your money. The only reason to have one is because you can’t not. If you don’t desperately want one, why bother?

      • Kris

        Just do what I did – you’re still you, and conducting a big science experiment! And refuse to buy into the mummy guilt industry.
        As to baby things being expensive? It’ll only be as expensive as you want to make it. It isn’t a requirement to buy a carseat/pram or basinette/cot/change table combo set for $1000+. I never even had a nappy bag – Just got her a backpack and had a couple of nappies and clothes changes in that. Or a nappies and wipes and stuff in a ziplock bag in my backpack to keep it all together! I foolishly looked at a pregnancy mag in a moment of weakness and felt like shit for not being able to afford all the “must haves”. Then a friend talked me down! Just remember in Finland the babies get a kit in a box that is designed to be where they sleep when they’re little!
        Seriously, people will pass on or buy so much stuff, don’t stress. Mum hired a baby capsule for the car for 6 months, in that time I got a seat. Saves heaps!

        • shelie

          Well said. But can I add that as science experiments go, there are far too many variables to track with a baby :p

          • Kris

            LOL fair call. I meant more that I just kind of took the attitude of “Oh, wonder what that is?” Rather than “I must have an obstetrician on speed dial for everything!!” or worse, doctor google. I found there was this expectation that you should freak out about every little thing, and have all these scans and tests. Even as an older first timer (I’d just turned 36 when I found out I was pregnant) I didn’t get all the testing done as friends had a scary time that turned out to be nothing. Just went through public at RPA, top notch care from start to finish.
            I had two pregnancy guides that I read, that was enough for me. Up The Duff and Emma Tom’s one, Attack of the 50ft hormones. Both funny and interesting guides.

  • http://cookingwithtoomuchsalt.wordpress.com/ An Idle Dad

    You spend your teenage years in an emotional roller coaster, one that fades as you control it over your twenties. Once you have kids, the roller coaster is back: towering fury, deepest contentment, endless fear (or the sudden sharp fear), bottomless sadness, bubbliest laughter, bravery, impatience. But AFTER breakfast, that’s when the ups and downs really kick in.

  • jalph

    I think I wish someone had told me that it is fine not to love every bit of it – that it is miraculous & mundane at the same time & when you’re tired & cleaning your bub up again & feeling a bit sad for missing your old life that doesn’t mean you love your bub any less or your not ‘making the most of it’ because ‘it will all go too quickly’ etc.etc. – the years are short, but the days are long. They do make you smile though!