I’m a pear shape wearing bright colours on my bottom half- oh the humanity!
Fashion Rules. You know what I’m talking about, right? All the rules dictated to us by media, friends, family and society about what we should and shouldn’t wear. Fashion rules are a favourite topic for the media “Which dress is best for your body? Top ten jeans for your shape! Fashion dos and don’ts”. Telling us what fruits we look like, what colours to put together or not put together, what styles suit us best.
Between myself and my friends on Twitter, we came up some examples like: “If you’re a pear shape, don’t wear colours on your bottom half. Leggings aren’t pants. Wear this top to balance out your bottom. Wear these sorts of shoes to elongate your legs. Don’t wear sneakers with jeans. Don’t wear black and navy together. Blue and green should never be seen. Don’t wear sequins or mini-skirts if you’re out of your twenties. Show boobs or legs, not both. Only one statement piece per ensemble”.
As a fat woman, I’ve also heard a lot of these extra rules: “Don’t wear horizontal stripes, wear lots of black ‘cos it’s slimming, don’t wear anything too tight ‘cos it’s not flattering, don’t bare your arms, don’t wear anything short”. I go on the facebook page of a plus-size clothing store and shake my head at some of the comments there. “Why do you keep making sleeveless dresses, everyone knows fat girls don’t like to show their arms! Don’t make tight tops, fat girls don’t like tight tops, they’re not flattering!” Basically fat woman fashion rules boil down to “cover up your fat because it’s offensive to look at. Unless you have big boobs. And don’t stand out because we want you to be invisible and not exist”.
I have some news for you. You don’t have to follow the fashion rules. Really, you don’t! As much as people like to joke, there are no real fashion police. You can wear what you want! You do not have an obligation to meet the culturally constructed beauty ideal. Your friends, family, workmates, strangers on the street, are not entitled to tell you how to dress.
Now I’m wearing horizontal stripes, baring my arms and showing the shape of my tummy. What a fashion crime! :-P
Look at the thinking behind these “rules”. Why do you have to wear things to “balance out your proportions”? Because our culture has decided that an hourglass (balanced top and bottom) is the ideal body shape and we must all try to look the same so as not to offend people’s aesthetic sensibilities. How boring! Look at the language that is frequently used like “flattering” or “slimming”. Basically, not fat. Well I am fat, and no matter what I wear, I will still be fat. That’s my body shape. Stop acting like it’s the worst thing in the world to look that way. Why should you have to hide a roll on your tummy, or cover your arms? They are all parts of the wonderful shape your body makes. Why is it considered offensive to show them? Why does society encourage a culture of shaming?
What you wear is none of anyone’s business. If you want to follow fashion rules, that’s fine. What you choose to wear is none of my business, after all. You might like wearing all black, or wearing heels, or always wearing cute jackets over your arms, or following the fruit rules. That’s cool. But don’t be like the women on the facebook page, declaring what all women like to wear or not wear. Don’t generalise. Don’t snark. If your friend wants to wear leggings as pants, good for her. Leave her to her choices without criticising.
Fashion should be about fun! Wearing what you want to because you like it and it feels good on! I love that people have so many different styles and body shapes- diversity is awesome.
I made a deliberate choice to stop snarking about people’s fashion choices in my head. It has made such a difference to my attitude to not think negative thoughts all the time. Why not give it a try?
Do you think we judge others based on these “rules”? Do you adhere to the rules?
