Dear Late Abusive Husband


Dear Late Abusive Husband,

Sunday the 26th July marks 6 years since you passed away.

Your family will probably be sitting around the dining table telling stories, telling each other how much they miss you. Your parents will be inconsolable, you were their world, despite them having another son. Incidentally, your dad still introduces your brother as his “other son”, which, needless to say, hurts him greatly.

Your family don’t know what you were really like. You saved the real you for me, my family, and my friends. You were an abusive husband, a self absorbed narcissist with a hardcore victim complex. Shame this all came out after we got married.

But today I wanted to thank you.

I know, what victim of abuse thanks the abuser? Well, dear husband, your loss is a positive one. You sucked the life out of me when we were married, leaving me a shell of a woman.

You made me doubt myself. You made me think I was a bad wife. You made me feel utterly worthless.

You made me think the only option for my release was my own death. I contemplated suicide. Because of you.

But thank you, thank you for not looking after yourself, so that you are no longer here to break me.

Thank you for leaving this world, so that I could find myself. You don’t know, and will never know this, but I am an amazing woman. I am strong, and loyal, and fierce. I am not worthless. I was a good wife. The friends I have love me and support me. I know who I am now, and that is someone who would never ever take that kind of abuse again.

Thank you for leaving this world, so that no other woman would be subjected to your abuse.

Thank you for leaving this world, so that I no longer have to deal with your toxic parents, who thought you could do no wrong.

As much as I hate to admit it, I still see some negative affects of you in my life. Despite being more confident than I have ever been, when it comes to the opposite sex, I have no confidence. I still have trouble believing that I’m worthy of anyone.

I hope one day this will pass. I hope that I find someone who loathes what you did to me, and makes me feel wanted, loved, and safe.

So farewell, dear husband. Consider this letter the end of me dwelling on how you wronged me. You got your just desserts. I, on the other hand, have been given the gift of a new chance at life.

Yours sincerely,

Your Former Wife

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  • Samara

    I know that must have been difficult to experience and write about, but I am glad you are here to show women that they can survive the abuse and move on to be wonderful and strong like you. Glad you are here and learning just how great you are!

  • maree Talidu

    I sent you a private message on FB, Mandi. Thank you for sharing.