A Marriage Proposal

May 30, 2012 in Anecdotes, Dating, Marriage, Music, People, Relationships, Self, Society, Stories

My engagement ring

There are a few things you need to know about me: I am not a patient person. Nor am I the kind of person who likes things being out of my control. I hate surprises, even though I really like the idea of surprises. I just get so distressed about not knowing what’s about to happen that I get all panicky and tend to look less like I’m enjoyed the surprise, and more like I’m having a panic attack. As an example, Husband recently threw me a surprise birthday party, and I squealed then smacked him.

So when it came to getting engaged, I approached it with the same kind of mixture of anxiety, a desire for something romantic, and the desire to just not want to be surprised. Plus I was impatient, and had started threatening Boyfriend (as he was at the time) that if he hadn’t proposed by February 29th, I would just propose to him. (Traditionally, if you didn’t know, women can propose to men on Feb 29th… and if the man says no, he has to give her a pair of white gloves.)

But, finally, I piked out and decided I wouldn’t do it.

So we’re sitting in our apartment on the evening on February 28th, Family Guy was on the TV and I turned to Boyfriend and I said “I’m not going to propose to you tomorrow.”
“Oh?” says boyfriend
“No. I decided not to. For two reasons, the first is that I want an engagement ring and it’s pretty rude for me to go ‘Hey, will you marry me? Now go buy me a ring’. And the second is that I don’t really want to tell everyone for the rest of our lives that I proposed to you because I was too damn impatient to wait for you to propose to me”
“Are you sure?” Says boyfriend, and I agree. “Come to the study then”

And there, in the study of our shoebox apartment, Boyfriend picked up a box that had been sitting on his desk for, apparently, the last 2 months (I know, how did I not notice that??) waiting for me to propose, he opened the box containing the most perfect ring I’ve ever seen and asked me “Will you marry me?”

I cried for 10 minutes before I remembered I was supposed to say yes, which I said, and then asked “Am I allowed to wear it?”

To this day am so grateful I didn’t do that in public.

If a public proposal is your kind of thing, here’s one that brought me to tears (even though they’re using a song I consider exceedingly inappropriate for a marriage proposal. Something dumb to do?):

How were you proposed to? If you haven’t been, how would you like to be?

Author Info

Tamsin Howse has written 181 posts.
Tamsin is a wife, stepmother and blogger with a passion for people and relationships, fashion and beauty, and an inability to successfully complete household tasks. Co-founder and Editor-in-chief of KiKi & Tea.
Follow on twitter: @TamsinHowse
Website: http://kikiandtea.com

11 Comments »

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Detachable Princess

I had an inkling of what P-Daddy was up to when he went to the shops 2 days in a row without taking me! He came home with a big bunch of roses to say “happy anniversary” and I thought “Oh that’s lovely, I guess there’s no ring, oh well”. Then he came around to the side of the bed, where I’d been lying reading a magazine, and dumped a little box on my lap. “What’s in the box?” I asked. “Open the box”. “No, what’s in the box?” “Just open the box!” The perfect ring was in the box, which he first tried to put onto the wrong hand!

I now know that he happened to run into a twice-married friend of ours while out choosing a ring, and called out to him “Hey, Bernie! You’ve done this twice before, help me out here!”. He’s a charmer, my P-Daddy.

Then there’s the story of how he said his wedding vows, the entire time looking directly at his left shoe…
- http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse
  
  Were they written on his left shoe by any chance?
  
  I love the way it never goes as scripted. My actual response to “come to the study” was “Why?!”
  - Detachable Princess
    
    He reckons that if he looked at me, he wouldn’t have been able to remember the words. Even going 5 words at a time, repeating after the celebrant.
    
    After promising his left shoe that he would love, honour etc…. he finally looked up at me. I gave him a big wave and smile, and said “Here I am!”.
Whippersnapper

Oh what a perfect story. That is how I would want my proposal to be, just the two of us, at home with no-one else around. VERY casual. One couple friend got engaged at a Christmas party they were hosting, in front of all of us. I wouldn’t like that, I would want it to be a private moment. Alternatively, with Mr W’s whole family at Christmas time. That too would be nice!
- http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse
  
  Heaps of people do a big thing, but I would have found that so overwhelming! I’m always a little in awe, though.
- Monique Fischle
  
  I’m not a fan of the very public proposal for me personally. I would want it to be private too, plus I want to be able to tell people the story, not have them already know because they were there!
Jessica Chapman

I think the problem of public proposals is that they have a high chance of going wrong. When we were climbing the harbour bridge there was a couple who got engaged at the top. While we were waiting the guide told us this story of how he was on one tour that the couple and their families had booked out and the guy had planned to propose at the top. The girls response was “no way.” So the entire group had to climb back down (which takes a while) in awkward silence.
- http://music.johnanthonyjames.com/ John James
  
  …and that’s why they “tie” you to the bridge…just in case she says “no way”…
  - http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse
    
    I’ve always wondered if anyone has dropped the engagement ring while proposing up there…
    - Jessica Chapman
      
      I think if they did they would stop people from proposing up there. They have such strict rules on what you can take up, you’re not even allowed bobby pins. I was surprised you were even allowed to take a ring. I think you have to organise it with the guide and he carries the ring up.
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