Health, Mental Health

Let’s Talk About Self Harm

self harm injury depression mental health illness

Trigger warning: Abuse, depression and self harm.

self harm injury depression mental health illness

I have a scar on my left arm. Most people don’t notice it. It is on the top side of my arm and runs from my wrist 3/4 the way to my elbow. It’s white and the width of the fingernail on my right hand. That’s not a coincidence. I did it to myself.

2003, I was in the middle of my HSC. One night, sitting on my bedroom floor, I was on my mobile to my boyfriend. He was telling me off about something, I don’t even remember what it was. It could have been anything from what I had been wearing, what I was planning on the upcoming weekend, or what time I had come home from the video store where I worked. Whatever it was, I was upset about it and crying. As I spoke to him and cried, I pressed the middle finger of my right hand into my arm as hard as I could. I then dragged my nail across my arm, and back, and again.

Each time I dragged my nail across my skin, I pushed a little harder and made it a little redder. Eventually, I cut through.

As my arm started to bleed I snapped back into reality, realised what I was doing, and I stopped.

Many people aren’t so lucky.

March 1st is Self Injury Awareness Day. Self injury, or self harm, is a major problem. In Australia from 2008-09, there were 26,935 cases of hospitalised self-harm (117.9 cases per 100,000 people in Australia).* And that’s only the hopitalised ones. There are so many who are never hospitalised or even admit to self injury or self harm.

Mindframe states:

The issue of self-harm is complex both from a definitional perspective and in relation to the scarcity of data regarding frequency and patterns of self-harm in Australia1. There is no ‘universal definition’ of self-harm and additionally, there are diverse views concerning the reasons or risk factors for self-harming behaviours.

In general, self-harm (sometimes referred to as self-injury) is understood to involve a person deliberately causing him or herself physical pain as a means of managing difficult or painful emotions, or as a way of communicating their distress to others2, 3.

There are many forms of self-harming behaviours. Reckless driving and other high-risk behaviours can, in some cases, be indicators of self-harm. The act of self-harming is not directly or necessarily an attempt by a person to end their life4 (although acts of self-harm can result in disability or death in severe cases of physical injury5, 6).

The relationship between self-harm and suicidality is complex (see below: Self-harm and suicide)

If you or someone you know is participating in self harm, it’s time to seek help. You can do it. With self help and self care, you can replace self harm.

Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Black Dog Institute for help.

This post is part of the self injury awareness day linkup

*source: http://www.mindframe-media.info/for-media/reporting-self-harm/facts-and-stats#sthash.O55moJLC.dpuf

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  • Lucy

    The top of my legs are covered in scars, some faded, others not. My arms too, though I’m thankful these aren’t noticeable. I’m ashamed of my scars, I used self harm as an emotion regulation method in the depths of my depression and now that I’m beyond that, they’re just another reason to be sad about, and ashamed of, my body. I hide my legs, get paranoid that my pants or skirt may not be long enough to cover them and if someone happens to notice I stumble over an explanation and hide.

    • Kylie Ofiu

      Lucy, it’s hard, especially when asked about the scars. I’m sorry people are so insensitive as to ask about them. My partner is covered in scars (not from self harm) and he is paranoid and ashamed of them too. It was only when I told him about mine from self harm that he opened up about his from numerous events and let me see them. I am sure you are beautiful. I understand wanting to hide the scars though.

    • https://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      I think knowing I would have trouble hiding the scars is a reason I never got into that kind of self harm. I will admit this piece doesn’t actually tell the whole story. I also used to abuse pain killers as a way of self harming without leaving scars. Not external ones, anyway.

  • Kylie Ofiu

    Interesting, I am posting about self harm tomorrow. I would have been one of those cases in 2008 – 2009, they didn’t believe it was self harm though, they suspected domestic violence. Ironically, that did come later. I have a scar on my upper left thigh, I never let anyone see it. I have little scars elsewhere but that one is the ‘big one’ and I hate that it is in a place I see constantly. It’s the one I ended up in hospital for.

    • https://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      Sorry to hear about this. If it bothers you, have you considered getting the scar removed by laser?

  • TeganMC

    I’m so glad that you were able to put yourself back from the edge. Most days I don’t even think about my scars..I have had many of them for nearly half of my life. I don’t remember what my arms looked like without scars. I don’t get asked about them as much anymore and usually, depending on my mood I am honest about them. A few people have asked if I had surgery and I have a bit of a giggle to myself because the surgeon would have to be pretty dodgy at their job to create the scars I have.

    Thanks for linking up with me for Self Harm Awareness Day.

    • https://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      I’m incredibly lucky I was able to. Mind you, the cut got infected and I had to wear a whopping great big bandage for a few weeks. That was a pretty good reminder not to do it again.

  • Smaggle

    A friend of mine used to self harm quite badly and wore gloves every day to hide the scars. I saw her for the first time on the weekend without wearing gloves and it was awesome. She’s so strong now, I’m so proud of her. It’s so important to raise awareness because it’s a lot more common than people think.