The photo that started it all
Love them or hate them, you cannot deny the onesie has taken the world by storm.
The onesie obsession hit me hard and strong. It all started in June 2012 when my friend Erica posted a photo of herself in a Moosin’ Around onesie bought in Bamff. I thought to myself “ooh, I need one of those! I get so cold!” Yet it wasn’t until May this year I got my own onesie, once the stores had caught up with my desire (this often seems to happen, I think “Hey, I wish I could buy gumboots” and they’re everywhere… Is it me leading the stores, or being subliminally convinced by them?) and my friend bought me a pink one for my birthday.
I wore it every day after work for a month. At that point, thanks to the complaints of my friends, I decided to buy one that was a little more stylish to look at (but it’s not as warm to wear) and invested in my second onesie.
You may sit there, judging me, thinking “I would never wear a onesie” but I’ve gotta tell you, I look pretty damn cute in mine. And, even if I don’t, I am super duper comfortable and cozy. And isn’t that more important?
So, with that in mind, here’s my guide to buying the best onesie:
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Fabric
Contrary to what you may see in the shops, you don’t want fleece. Unless you’re planning on wearing it in Antarctica, you’re going to boil yourself in fleece and it’s going to become quite uncomfortable quite quickly. Plus, and this is just between you and me, you don’t really need to be sharing bits of your onesie with the sofa, the cat, the sheets, your bellybutton and your naughty bits. And, like my hair, the fluff a fleece onesie will drop will get everywhere.
If you’re going to sleep in it, you probably want cotton. But I went cotton with my monster onesie and I have to wear leggings and a jumper underneath. Which is still pretty damn cosy. Depends what you’re aiming for.
Just trying this on for a giggle left fluff all over my clothes.
Style
You may think that a onesie that looks like an animal is hilarious. And you’d be right. But when it comes to actually wearing it for comfort purposes those tails are a pain in the ass. Literally. You don’t want one. Plus, and this is just my opinion, you probably don’t want something that looks like you’re wearing a nappy under there. I’m not a fan of a poo-catcher onesie, and they don’t look like they’d be as comfortable for moving around the house in either.
Also, after recently running out of the house during a blackout in my oneise, I cannot understate how awesome it is to not have it immediately apparent to others that you are, in fact, wearing a onesie. And with my monster onesie, that box is ticked.
Price
As much as I love them, this trend isn’t going to last forever. I’ll probably be wearing mine long after the trend has died, but even with that in mind I really wouldn’t be spending any more than $80 on a onesie. I definitely definitely would not be spending $200+ on one like the OnePiece one up the top.
Aim for $30-$60
The first onesie I got, with hood, closed in feet, and bum flap. $37
Bum Flap
In theory, I love the bum flap. In practice, the elasticised bum flap is a recipe for disaster as the elastic pulls your legs towards your torso and you end up squatting on the loo in a rather unflattering position with your knees making a break for your ears while the elastic tries to fight back on your well-intentioned attempt at using the bum flap for what it was meant for.
If you are going to get a bum flap, get one with buttons or press studs. Don’t bother otherwise.
Feet
Closed in feet on a onesie will keep your tootsies warm, but not much more so than socks and to be honest it feels weird walking around in closed in feet without socks on anyway, so you’ll probably end up wearing socks underneath. Then, before you know it you’ve stepped in something and the bottom of your foot is soaking wet. And you can’t take them off without removing the whole onesie.
Honestly, I don’t rate the closed in feet. As fun as they are, they just got dirty and gross very fast. My new one doesn’t have them.
Hoodie
A hoodie I do rate. It keeps your neck and ears warm with the rest of you and, without a hoodie, you’re not an adult who may be wearing a tracksuit. You’re an adult who is definitely wearing a one-piece pyjama suit… Without animal ears. And where’s the fun in that?
Do you have a oneise? What do you think of them? Love them or hate them?
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