I was casually scrolling through news.com.au one lunchtime, and came across an article entitled “Western women warned “friendliness’ confuses Indian men”.
My first reaction was “huh?” which of course prompted me to read the article.
In short, Indian men “often get the ‘wrong signal’ from female tourists who are simply being friendly”. Well that makes complete sense…
In this day and age, women are constantly being told they can’t do things. We can’t expect to earn the same as men. We can’t expect to be treated with respect in our chosen career. We can’t expect other women to accept us for who we are without judgment. We can’t wear short skirts and high heels without being labelled a slut and encouraging assault. Now we are being told that we shouldn’t be friendly, or people will take it the wrong way.
Women, of course, aren’t the only ones who have the deal with this. Men with beards, ponytails or tattoos are often exposed to prejudice based purely on their appearance. Men are called “metrosexual” or assumed they are gay, purely because they like to look after themselves i.e. using moisturizer, and being well dressed. And of course men can’t possibly show any emotion that isn’t manly: real men don’t cry!
We are trying our hardest to bring equal rights to the fore. Things like legalizing gay marriage (congrats to both New Zealand and France for doing the right thing) are starting to slowly happen. Just when we think as a society we are improving, things like the story above just show how far we have to go.
I am reminded of something an old work colleague said to me. He told me to never assume. Why? Because it makes an ASS out of U and ME. So true isn’t it? People make assumptions based on appearance. People make assumptions based on background. People make assumptions based on nationality, sex, religion.
Whatever happened to just asking? People still seem so politically correct, that it’s not nice to ask. But by making an assumption based purely on appearance, for example, a workplace could be missing out on the perfect candidate. Yes, that heavily tattooed bloke could actually be the best person for the job!
Have you noticed too, that assumptions lead to gossip? When the new girl starts at work, and she’s wearing
If people actually asked her questions, the need for speculation on the girl would be zero. No one would jump to conclusions, or make silly assumptions, purely based on her appearance.
The assumption that someone is interested in you purely because they are nice to you is ridiculous. The assumption that someone is gay purely because they are dressed well is also ridiculous.
How about we just stop with the assumptions, and just accept everyone for who they are. If we are wondering something? Just ask.
Am I naive to think it’s just that simple?
What assumptions have people made about you? Are you guilty of making assumptions of others?
