There is a stage in every man’s life when he realises he’s not wanted in the playground anymore. Before then, he can go play on the swings, or the slide, or the monkey bars… and no one bats an eyelid. Then one day, everything changes. People look at you differently. You can see it in their eyes.
“What is he doing? Why is he here? He should act his age. He looks suspicious.”
You still want to play on the swings and the slide and the monkey-bars, but society suddenly says it’s no longer OK. Access Denied… Forbidden! For some men that might be at 14, or 18, or 24 even. It’s a sad day. It’s a one way trip through an invisible barrier. There is no going back.
When did I become a creepy old man?
This isn’t the only one-way trip in a man’s life. The next one involves 16 year old girls. One day, you feel perfectly fine checking out a 16 year old girl. The next, you feel like a pervy-sicko-child-molester. An eighteen year old guy checking out a 16 year old girl… that’s OK. Even at 20 it can still be OK… but 25? Maybe not. 30? Definitely not! The 16 year old girl hasn’t changed, but the way society looks at you has.
At 46, I’m starting to feel as if I’ve just passed through another one-way door. This time it’s how women in their 20s relate to me. I think I may have progressed from “average guy” to “creepy old man”. It’s the little things. Young women avoid sitting next to me on the bus like the plague. Young women no longer make eye contact with me if I pass them in the street. It’s like I’m invisible.
I’m not sure if women go through the same stages? Certainly in recent years, the media has been celebrating the rise of the “yummy mummies” and “cougars” and “MILFs”. If the media is accurately reflecting what society thinks (and that’s not necessarily so) it seems like society has become more accepting of older women being sexually interested in younger men.
Compare this with how older man are portrayed in the media. If an older man tries to show interest in a younger woman, he is portrayed as lecherous, or even a sad old buffoon. If an older man successfully starts dating a younger woman, then he is “having a mid-life-crisis”. All this despite the fact that the “older man / younger woman” relationship is actually quite common. So why the bad press?
I’m just like anyone else. I still want to feel alive and vibrant and relevant and attractive. I don’t want to feel like a creepy old man, because I’m not. I’m still the same guy I was in my 20s and 30s. I enjoy the attention of the opposite sex, and I still enjoy flirting with women, regardless of their age. I feel like something special is being taken away from me just because I’m getting older. The sad thing is, I may not even have a choice. That door might have already closed behind me.
Do you think older men are looked on with suspicion? Is it fair to treat older men differently to younger men? Do older women have it easier than older men?
