People, Self, Society

You Can’t Handle The Truth

Truth

I’m not a liar by nature, in fact I’m not a liar at all, but there are some things that are so honest people don’t want to hear. Some things nobody ever says for fear they will be judged, ridiculed, have their worst fears confirmed. We all do it, when faced with confrontation on something we are sensitive about we hold back, we stay quiet, we fear that people will not react well to what we have to say. Especially when it’s the truth.

You see, I’ve written an article. I know it’s the best, strongest, most honest and most powerful article I’ve ever written. But I can’t hit publish. Why? Because it’s the truth. And I don’t think people want to hear it.

But there’s something interesting I’ve noticed in this, whenever someone has taken a deep breath and told the truth, it often turns out that everyone else was thinking it anyway. It just takes one person to open the flood gates.

This happened recently when Keith Urban said “We’re very, very tight as a family unit and the children are our life, but I know the order of my love, it’s my wife and then my daughters”*

Suddenly all these people came out of nowhere showing their support for this point of view, saying that they completely agree and our society’s failing is that we tell everyone to put the kids first. Pointing out that in French society, the world is designed for the adults, and kids simply have to fall in line.

A similar thing happened when Kate Hunter admitted she didn’t really love her dog, suddenly people everywhere were admitting they didn’t really love their pets either. Sure, they’re nice and everything, but they don’t love them.

I found this really interesting. Both because I’ve always assumed people always put their kids above their partners (although I’ve never entirely understood why, and have assumed this will automatically become clear to be upon giving birth, along with other things like why on earth anyone would fold a fitted sheet, or the desire to cook dinner every night), and because it only took one person to say it, for people to feel comfortable saying it too.

You see, it only takes one. One person to stand out on that ledge, to say it, to be brave, and everyone else will join you. It’s like those movies where everyone is ordered to bow, and one person stands. One person, then two, then many, and when it’s many, the tables have turned.

It only takes one person, but an incredible act of bravery for them. To tell the truth, and hold your breath waiting for the internet to land its’ blow. Am I brave enough to tell the truth? I haven’t decided yet.

Could you tell the truth, even if you thought no one else was thinking it? Would you rather lie? 

*Source Speak the truth Truth

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  • http://music.johnanthonyjames.com/ John James

    I’m pretty sure I know which post you’re talking about…and you know I think you should post it.

    I think you’ll be surprised by the reaction to it if you do post it…but if I’m wrong, you know we’ve got your back…

    :)

    I, on the other hand, don’t worry too much about exposing parts of me that some people may find issues with…I am who I am…deal with it!

    • Rose Russo

      I think I know the piece she’s talking about too. I definitely think you should post it and I agree with JJ we’ll always have your back…

      I know that I was hesitant with a certain piece I published a few months back. But, you know what? The response was overwhelmingly positive. And I’m not ashamed of my past. It has made me who I am today.

      I still have one or two other posts that sit in ‘draft’ mode for months and I too am wary of hitting ‘send’

      Maybe we can both do it together?

    • Whippersnapper

      I disagree with both you and Rose, JJ. I know the piece as well.

      Yes, we will have your back T, but the piece could explode. That would be very upsetting. I’m not saying it shouldn’t be published, it should if you want, but you do have to be prepared.

      I’ve had two posts published that gave overwhelming negative feedback. It was personal, too. I wasn’t prepared. I was extremely upset after both and felt like a complete idiot. This is despite the fact, in real life, that most of the people behind those comments probably don’t have a shred of my intelligence and if anyone had dared say to me what was said in the comments, they would have copped a smack-down-verbal-style. People attacking you verbally on the internet hurts, even though you know you should just ignore it and hold your head high.

      • http://music.johnanthonyjames.com/ John James

        Yep – I guess how you react to opposing views, or even insults, is an issue too…I just don’t care what people think, so I cope with trolls and haters better than other people…but totally understand that other people don’t…

        I think you also have to accept that not everyone will agree with you…and not take it to heart if they do…of course, this doesn’t help if the commentators use abuse as a form of argument…as soon as someone does that, it invalidates their argument anyway, so I ignore them…no point even trying to change their opinion…

        Of course, KK&T has a no-abuse policy…so we wouldn’t let it go that far anyway.

      • Rose Russo

        I understand what you’re saying… all valid points for T to consider.

        But I was called ‘cheap’ on a number of occasions (and deleted comments as well) I didn’t take it to heart because I know it’s simply not true. It hurt a bit… but I just ignored it.

  • Valentina B

    I like to think that I can tell the truth in a way that isn’t unnecessarily harsh or critical of others. There is definitely an art to speaking the truth without causing too much offense.
    White lies I’m ok with but anything more than that just isn’t worth it really. Especially if it has the potential to cannonball into something bigger.

    I think you should post your piece!

  • Linzi

    We withhold the truth – or at least, our own personal version of it – for fear of being called an idiot, or hurting or losing a friend or loved one. I don’t always say or write the truth because it can be harsh and because I believe in preserving the dignity of others, which you posted about a little while ago. Speak your truth and be willing to own it. Or, keep your truth to yourself, as a special, treasured piece of wisdom exclusively for you…one doesn’t have to throw their pearls before swine.

    • http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse

      “One doesn’t have to throw their pearls before swine” Brilliantly put.

      • Linzi

        Matthew 7:6. :)

  • Claire Wallace

    I’m super curious now as to what you’ve written! Can’t wait to read it if you decide to publish. I hope you do, although I understand your hesitation.

    Since going through my quarter-life crisis (which I say only half-jokingly)I now pass important decisions through the death-bed filter. If you were lying on your death bed in however many years time, would you regret doing it? Or would you regret not doing it?

    • http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse

      That’s a good way to think about things.

  • Kell

    You certainly know how to make your readers intrigued!

    I guess it depends on what the story is. If it’s something completely controversial that is going to incite strong feelings then I would think twice. If however, you are presenting something that is your truth I think it would be a real eye opener for people.

    You need to do what you feel comfortable with. At the end of the day I know JJ has your back and he would delete comments before you even had to read them if that’s what you wanted.

    I DEFINITELY want to read it now though!!

    • http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse

      Ha! That was not the point of this post, I promise, but it certainly has gone that way!

      What I have to say is controversial, and important, and an eye opener. I want to post it not for me, but for those I know need to read it.

      • Kell

        Well I certainly want to read it now! I think if you can help someone then it sounds like a good idea. Obviously must be totally your call though x

  • Shannon Bownds

    I’m a couple of days late on this one, but I say post it. But I am going to qualify that opinion.

    From reading this post and the comments, your piece is controversial or at the very least it will be confronting for some readers. I think the real issue is not whether you post this, but how you post it. If readers can take from it that it is encouraging them to think critically about that issue, or to challenge their own beliefs – name your goal – but without victimising anyone, then I think it should be posted.

    Not everything is going to be a comfortable post. Some things will get positive feedback, others negative. Often, people who give negative feedback straight away will find their opinions evolve at least a little after reading, or perhaps their opinions will be affirmed. It may be that they instantly react on the defensive, but the post plants that seed in their brain and over time that opinion changes. As long as a post has generated that level of thought, it is worth it.

    That said, unlike those above, I haven’t the slightest clue to what you are referring; maybe my opinion will be different if I ever read the article you’re talking about and I may regret encouraging you to post it!