Body Image, Gender

Real Women Have Vaginas

When did this

There is non-stop talk in the media about body size, shape and image. It permeates everything – television, magazines, radio, websites…We cannot seem to escape it and, boy, do I want to.

I’m sick of it. I’m sick of hearing about it, sick of reading it about it. People throw around these patronising phrases designed to make women feel better about themselves “real women have curves”, “big is beautiful”. There’s two distinct camps – the larger bodied women with the catch cries about how men love curves, and the thin women who don’t want to be compared to boys because they have no boobs or bums. Then there’s the middle camp, the healthy, curvy women who don’t want “curvy” to be a euphemism for fat.

I’ve written about body image before. I’ve written about my own journey from being extremely thin to being slightly larger and getting called fat (I never was), to putting on muscle and being somewhere in the middle, but the healthiest I have ever been.

Today, International Women’s Day, I have a challenge for you. What if, instead of talking about how some women have this that or the other, or this looks better than that, or even about other people’s health. How about we just stop talking about it? Just stop.

What would happen?

We could cause a massive downturn in magazine sales. We could change the face of the beauty industry. We could make a whole lot of people suddenly realise that their value does not lie in the superficial. We could help some people to feel better about themselves and maybe even break the unhealthy relationship they have with their body. We could make a real change.

Sure, you’re only one person. I’m only one person. But together there are 2 of us. Add your sister and that makes 3. Add my mother, that’s 4… This can grow. This can spread. Just stop talking about it.

Think about it for a moment and get back to me. I think it can be done.

Remember – Real women have vaginas. And some people I call women don’t even have that. 😉

T.

Photo: Source unknown.

About International Women’s Day

When:  Thursday 8 March 2012
Where: Everywhere
What:   International Women’s Day (8 March) is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. In some places like China, Russia, Vietnam and Bulgaria, International Women’s Day is a national holiday.
Why:   Suffragettes campaigned for women’s right to vote. The word ‘Suffragette’ is derived from the word “suffrage” meaning the right to vote. International Women’s Day honours the work of the Suffragettes, celebrates women’s success, and reminds of inequities still to be redressed. The first International Women’s Day event was run in 1911. 2011 was the Global Centenary Year. Let’s reinvent opportunity for all women … more

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  • Kell

    I am so sick of all those body image articles!!! Who spends that much time worrying or thinking about their bodies? I’ve got much better things to do.

    Sure I wish I was more toned, but I know how to do that – exercise more and eat less. If I do that I’ll get fitter. If I don’t I won’t. There is no point complaining about it.

    Honestly, I just feel so blessed that I have a healthy body that works well. Legs that get me where I need to go and enough energy to do everything I need to do in the day. And I’m very grateful that my body has produced 3 beautiful kids – that is a marvel in itself.

  • Rose Russo

    Great idea T. I try and not talk about people’s weight but it can be hard when you see someone and you instantly say ‘wow, you look fantastic’ if they’ve lost a lot of weight. I also find that I compliment people on their clothes a lot as well but that’s only because when people do it to me it makes me feel good.

    The other night I saw ‘My Week with Marilyn’ and I just thought the way Michelle Williams had a body suit on to show the hourglass figure of Marilyn just made me feel better about my curves.

    When I got home and got changed into my PJs I felt like maybe my curves can be sexy to me. That was incredibly empowering!

    • http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse

      I think saying “Wow, you look fantastic” to someone who has intentionally lost weight is fine. You are commenting on the results of something they have done.

      It’s when we start comparing or making negative remarks that is so damaging.

      I don’t look like you. You don’t look like me. We’re both beautiful.

  • Monique Fischle

    Completely agree with you on this! I wish women would stop talking about what a “real” woman looks like. As far as I’m concerned, if you have a vagina, you are a woman! I hate the camp that goes “real men love curves” that skinny bash, and then I also dislike the skinny girls calling the “curvy” women fat.

    Women are increasingly skilled at bringing other women down and I, for one, am sick of it.

    • http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse

      Yep. I’m so over it. It’s all so wrong.

  • Maree Talidu

    I honestly think that we, as a sisterhood need to put a stop to ‘sizeism’ any way we can. If that means boycotting magazines and cutting their revenue, then by all means, go for it. Being a female who has suffered discrimination on both fronts: “Maree you anorexic, go eat a burger” to “Maree- shit you let yourself go! Join a gym, get moving. Why did you let yourself get this way?”, I know how fickle society can be.

    I didn’t choose either of the 2 bodies I have been stuck with. I never had a happy middle ground. I have always been ‘wrong’.
    Either too skinny, or too fat. But I’m nearly 32 and can handle it. My concerns really lie with the teenage girls I teach who binge & purge, who do lemon detox diets at 13 years old, who think they are fat, ugly, unworthy of happiness, because they are bombarded with a combination of the media and society telling them that nothing less than ‘perfection’ is acceptable or attractive. What these girls don’t know are these celebs are airbrushed, photoshopped to within an inch of their lives. They have personal trainers, personal chefs. Nothing about what my students see is realistic.

    Let’s start now. I stopped buying certain magazines a long time ago. We need to unite, and be heard.

    • http://tamsinhowse.com/blog Tamsin Howse

      Let’s do it :)

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