Whenever I go to the United States, something strange happens. I experience an odd bursting sensation at my hips. My arms swell up inexplicably, struggling to wrangle their way into the too-little sleeves of my tops (which must have shrunk in the dryer, surely). My figure becomes less hourglass-shaped and more reminiscent of a charcoal chicken, particularly in the thigh region. Okay, okay, so the phenomenon of prodigious weight gain isn’t exactly unheard-of for tourists in America. But if I go over there for a month and feel like I need a wheelchair to take me from Arrivals to Long-Term [...]