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Welcome To Polite Island

May 17, 2013 in Entertainment, Featured, Fiction, Food & Recipes, Lifestyle, Money, People, Society, Stories, Travel

Welcome to Polite Island! You have been selected to live in this modern utopia because you embody the values of a considerate unselfish person. Polite Island was founded by a woman who was becoming increasingly frustrated with her considerate behaviour being met with inconsiderate behaviour. Instead of giving up on being a polite person and falling into pit of selfishness she came up with a plan to make the world fairer. Instead of eradicating those devoted only to themselves and who frequently engage in behaviours that can be classed as ‘douchebaggery’ we have simply excluded them from our society. This [...]

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Poem: The Quiet Season

May 1, 2013 in Fiction, Stories

Trees cast dark silhouettes against a hazy pink sky —misty, even though it is late afternoon. The day has never recovered from the morning fog, which promises to shroud the city in its embrace yet again. A fog so thick it covered the suburban roofs like a polar fleece blanket, wrapping and tucking itself about the bare branches; its dampness filling the air making everything feel wet — an illusion of warmth and safety.   A plume of smoke trails from a chimney, blending into the fog; lost in the mist. The last yellow leaves cling to branches, they too, [...]

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Fiction: Mrs Keaton’s Microwave

April 18, 2013 in Fiction, Technology

Somewhere in the near future: Suburbia It wasn’t unusual for Mrs Keaton to be awoken by the sound of her children’s voices, but this morning they sounded shrill and panicked. “Mummy, Mummy, the microwave is gone.” “And the Fridge.” “And the TV.” Mrs Keaton rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “What do you mean they’re gone?” “Mummy, they’re all gone. Someone’s taken them,” her eldest daughter told her with a seriousness that scared her. Mrs Keaton was suddenly very very awake. She rushed from the bedroom, pulling her robe on as she ran into the lounge room. Sure enough, the [...]

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Dumped! End Game

April 17, 2013 in Dating, Fiction, Friendship, Humour, Marriage, Wedding

It was a few hours before midnight on New Year’s Eve, and Blake and Carla were sitting together on the floor of Blake’s apartment  Blake looked for all the world like one of the homeless people he had given Carla’s clothes to. Carla held a hanky to her nose, trying not to gag. “Give up?” asked Blake? “No. – But, my God Blake, you really stink!!” They both laughed. “You know,” said Carla, “I’ve tried and tried to think of something really bad to get you to dump me, and I just can’t think of anything anymore. It’s like I don’t want you to dump [...]

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Diary of a Hate Reader

April 2, 2013 in Entertainment, Fiction, People, Self, Society, Stories

Dear diary, Well … it’s been a busy time on the interwebs today! So much so that I got barely any work done. Oh well, tomorrow will be a catch up day I suppose. But forget tomorrow – this entry is about today! As always I kicked things off with a visit to my favourite online forum (HRW – Hate Readers of the World). I often wonder at the special kind of genius it took to create this place – somewhere people like me can share our most ardent vitriol about the online writers we detest the most, all from [...]

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Fiction: The Easter Egg

March 28, 2013 in Anecdotes, Children, Family, Fiction, Stories

This is based on a true story… It was a yet another Sunday and her big brother was annoying her once again, only it wasn’t a normal Sunday – it was Easter Sunday. He was doing all the usual annoying things that big brothers were good at. Touching her…not touching her. Farting, burping, pulling faces, calling her names. Being Easter Sunday, he also added showing her his half-eaten chocolate Easter eggs on his tongue. “Stop it! Eeewww, gross…!” He just laughed, ate another piece of chocolate, and repeated the process over again. She wanted to eat her chocolate eggs, but she was feeling sick. [...]

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Dumped! The Twins

March 20, 2013 in Dating, Fiction, Friendship, Humour

On his first day of school Blake sat down next to a friendly looking boy. “Hi, my name’s Blake.” “I’m Russell.” “Let’s be friends.” From that one simple conversation a friendship was created. As they grew up together, they also grew apart – not away from each other – just different to each other. Blake was confident and outgoing, whereas Russell was shy and inward-looking. And yet, despite these differences, they remained friends. Russell wasn’t necessarily Blake’s best friend, or even his favourite friend, but he was always there. For Blake, Russell was the silent observer. He was the person [...]

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Dumped! It’s You, Not Me

March 13, 2013 in Fiction, Friendship

Blake, Carla and Holly were sitting together in the Last Slice Cafe. “Are you sure he’s coming?” Blake asked Holly. “He’s been avoiding us for weeks.” “I think so. I’ll give him another call.” She pressed her speed dial and waited. “I think his phone is off…” “What did you do to him Holly?” asked Carla. “Do what?” asked Blake. “I just thought he was busy with some project of his.” Carla stirred her coffee angrily. “Holly dragged Russell off somewhere while I was rescuing that rose from your bum. I haven’t seen him since.” “But that was over a [...]

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Fiction: The Dark Place

March 7, 2013 in Fiction, Health, Mental Health, Stories

Francesca semi reclined on the couch, her eyes closed against the afternoon sun. The warmth made her limbs feel languid and her skin glow with perspiration. It had been a good day, busy but good. Go downstairs. The voice came from within. She tried to dismiss the feeling. It had been a good day. Maybe the sun was a little too hot. She turned her head away from it and tried to resume her nap. It’s time to go downstairs. No. Her body responded. It was too tired to walk down the stairs. But the hole began to widen inside [...]

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Dumped! The One About Carla

March 6, 2013 in Children, Fiction, Friendship

When Carla’s father announced that they were moving to Sydney, it was the worst day of her life. Everything…her home, her friends…she was being forced to leave them all behind because her father wanted to work for the Olympics. At her old high school she had been one of the popular kids. It had taken her years to reach the top of the popularity tree, and now she had to leave all that behind and start again, all that hard work wasted. When she got to her new school, she knew she had to be clever. Reading people and understanding [...]

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