As fun as it can be, dating is damn hard work. I’m 28, single, and over it. I’ve reached the point where I’m surprised more people don’t just give up. Trying to find a partner can feel like a part-time job. I’m trying to understand just how much energy we should put into it and how much we should just leave to fate, the universe, or simple luck.
I’ve never been the kind of person who seeks out serious relationships. I’ve had a few partners but only one I really cared about. Being single works for me most of the time. I like my own company and am rarely in a position where I want to factor another person into my choices. This doesn’t mean that every now and then I don’t dabble in the world of dating. I might meet a guy who seems nice or envision a future where my sole beneficiary is not my cat. When these moments strike I try to give it a go. But man is it an energy-suck. I really feel for people who have reached a stage in their life where they want to find a partner but have not been lucky enough to just meet ‘the one’ through their everyday life.
Online dating is a scary place. On a whim I signed up for a few dating sites. The only good thing about these is that it’s easy to pick out the guys who have no intention of taking you to dinner or a movie. The down side is that dating sites are full of them. It becomes an exercise in wading through the creepy, crazy, and married. Tinder has become a montage of dick-pics. I really feel sorry for the nice dudes looking for a date online. I imagine a lot of women bail before their profiles pop up.
Real life can be just as challenging. At least online you assume everyone is single. Meeting people in the flesh means if you find them interesting then you’re suddenly on a mission to find out if they’re available. I’d like to see someone do this smoothly. Really, send me your tips.
Let’s say you meet someone with a bit of potential. Lucky you. Now you have to go through a series of dates/text flirt sessions to work out if you see any potential. Our time is valuable. I often wonder how productive we single folk would be if we invested no time in finding a partner and turned our focus to our passions. It’s hard not to be disappointed at time wasted on people who weren’t worth your time in the first place.
I’m lucky in that having a relationship is not important to me right now. But I worry about what happens when it is. I just don’t know how people can summon the energy to wade through all the unsuitable people out there until they find someone they can go the distance with. Is there a point at which you decide not to put any energy into it and just let life happen, whatever that means?
Have you ever felt tired of dating? How did you meet your significant other?