I’ve Got To Tell You Something



I have an admission to make. It’s something I don’t say publicly very often for a myriad of reasons. Partly because I don’t like to focus on weight, partly because I have certain family members who will take any opportunity to agree with me, and partly because I know I am, and probably always will be, on the slim end of normal. But here I go:

I’m not happy with my weight.

Phew, I can feel myself exhaling just typing that.

It started before we went to the US, but it was only on getting back from the US and attempting to wear the work pants I had worn before when I realised – I have put on weight.

It isn’t a lot but it’s enough to make me feel uncomfortable. It’s enough to make my pants not fit, or my t-shirt sit a little too tight.

But when I push body love, when I don’t like to run weight loss propaganda and when I strongly encourage loving yourself as you are, why am I writing this?

I’m writing it because it’s the truth. It’s how I feel. And I think there’s nothing more powerful in this world than telling the truth.

I’m writing it because it’s OK to want to change something. Because a big part of loving yourself is loving yourself enough to want to feel your best. And I don’t, I just don’t.

So here I am. Exposing myself for all to see, so to speak, and admitting to you something I rarely admit outside my own head: I’m not happy with my weight.

It’s time to make a change.

Have you ever wanted to change something about your lifestyle? Have you ever done it successfully?


  • Trish

    I know how you feel. I put on 5kg, seemingly overnight but of course it was longer. One day my clothes fit, the next they were tight. I don’t weigh myself often, but when I got on the scales and saw the increase I did ask myself “How did that happen?!” Part of it is getting older and a slower metabolism, part is the chocolate with my 9pm cuppa. I don’t have an exercise regime but I walk a lot, it’s obviously not enough. If my clothes didn’t feel tight, I would probably accept it, as I am still slimmish, but I don’t want to buy a new wardrobe! I have made an effort to stop the late night chocolate but feel that I will need to exercise a bit more to shift it!

    • http://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      The clothes is definitely my motivation too! I like my clothes! Though I could probably stand to be stronger.

  • 26 Years & Counting

    Knowing that you need to change something isn’t the same as hating yourself. I am overweight & would like not to be; this doesn’t mean I hate my body. It’s just something I have to work on taking care of. Simple, logical.

    • http://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      Agree 100% it just seems so often people equate it as such.

      • 26 Years & Counting

        And it’s great that others on the internet are so supportive of helping people with body image & confidence. But I do get a little sick of a presumption that everyone lacks confidence.

        I mean, if you were naturally blonde and you had brown hair, no one would freak out & ask if you hated your hair if you said you wanted to go back to being blonde.

        Yes, it’s a trivial comparison, but the logic behind both statements is the same.

        • http://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

          It’s completely the same! I don’t lack confidence and I’ve always been more than happy to put myself up as the poster girl for accepting yourself, especially as it’s been a rough journey for me to get here. I think an important part of that is being real about when I’m not loving my body sick.
          For the record, no one has ever reacted with pity that I’m naturally blonde who has to spend a significant investment of time & money for red hair. No one has ever said I’m courageous for sticking with that commitment. What’s the difference?

          • Hayley Ashman

            You ladies have really nailed it for me. I like how you’ve basically said ‘this weight does not work for me.’ It’s honest yet lacks the body-hatred that we often read about.

  • Lana (Sharpest Pencil)

    Personally I also think it’s okay not to love your body because sometimes you don’t. People that don’t “love their bodies” are not doing anything wrong – they are just being honest about the fact that they are not happy with the way the look or the way their body works.

    I find the concept of loving my body pretty hard but it doesn’t make me fat, underweight or unhealthy. It just makes me unhappy with my body


    • http://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      Good point! Something to think about.

  • http://www.smaggle.com Smaggle

    Not being happy with your weight is often a by product of having not taken care of yourself for a while which if you’re human happens all the time. I tend to not go entirely by weight because my weight is mental! I’m 5 kgs heavier than I’ve been in years yet my clothes are baggier than they’ve ever been because I’ve been doing strength training. It’s not necessarily that you’re all ‘I’ve put on weight! MUST LOSE IT IMMEDIATELY!’ it’s just that you’re probably feeling a bit gluggy and and blah. There’s nothing wrong at all with wanting to make healthy changes to your eating and lifestyle habits. I’ll cheer you on! Go Tamsin! Having said all that I saw you at Problogger last year (I did, didn’t I?) and I think you look gorgeous! xxx

    • Melissa Savage

      ‘Not being happy with your weight is often a by product of having not taken care of yourself for a while which if you’re human happens all the time.’


    • http://kikiandtea.com/ Tamsin Howse

      Thanks! Yes, you did! I don’t think we managed to meet but I saw you around so I’m sure you did.
      And you’re 100% on the money. It’s not the number on the scales that bothered me as much as not being able to put my favourite pair of work pants on.
      Strength training will absolutely do that. I put on 10kgs when I was training with a personal trainer twice a week and didn’t change clothing size.

  • http://iamevilcupcake.com/ iamevilcupcake

    For me I want to feel beautiful. I don’t feel beautiful at my current size. I will stop losing weight when I look in the mirror and feel comfortable and be able to smile at my reflection. There is no number attached to this however. It could be when I get to 100 kgs. Or 80 or 90 or whatever. It will be that point where I feel like I am myself.