Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse: Do You Have A ZEP?

Zombie Defense Station
Zombie Defense Station

Zombie Defense Station

Do you have a zombie evacuation plan?

As Husband & I arrived at the shopping centre carpark on Sunday morning, just a bit before 9am, we noticed no other cars around. This is unusual as there’s a 24 hour Kmart as well as a few supermarkets that are open from 8am. We were unsettled by this development and I suggested perhaps the Zombie Apocalypse had happened and we just hadn’t realised.

Immediately the two of us sized up what we had on us and what we were wearing, with me declaring I was glad I was wearing my loafers as ballet flats can be quite hard to run in, but I wished I’d brought my jacket as it is warm for nights as well as being black, making me harder to see. Husband looked around and declared the shopping centre would make a good base of operation as it’s fairly easily defendable and we would have plenty of supplies. We then walked towards the cafe, continuing this train of thought, and both got a fright as we saw a woman shuffling along in a very zombie-like state. We were relieved when she yawned and stopped for coffee.

This whole episode got me thinking about the zombie apocalypse on how for many, including Husband & I, it’s a matter of not if, but when. We have therefore put together a few alternative ZEPs (Zombie Evacuation Plans) and have communicated these with our friends, all of whom are also well versed in Zombie defence strategies.

For example you don’t really want a gun – ammo is heavy to carry and can run out – where as a machete will serve you well, especially if you know how to swing it. We were also very disappointed when my brother moved interstate as he had a ute, and a machete, and we knew he’d be really good on our side. Plus he was more than happy to discuss strategy with us without thinking we were a little bit mental.

You can actually buy pre-made zombie apocalypse defence kits, which I’ll admit made me laugh a little bit, but it’s good to know. Although I’m assuming, should the zombie apocalypse actually happen, their shipping might be a little delayed.


Do you have a Zombie Evacuation Plan? Or do you think we’ve seen far too many horror movies? Do you think you’d survive? 

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  • John James

    No no no no no! I’m sick of all these anti-zombie stories in the media. Yet another “lets kill all the Zombies” story…this anti-Zombie prejudice has to stop!

    Zombies are people too. I fully intend to become infected (but not eaten) by the Zombie virus and join the Zombie brethren. I’m looking forward to the day when I can dine on some nice juicy brains, probably yours!

    Zombie rights and peace!

  • Mazi Gray

    You know you’ve been married to a nerd to long when…


    P.s. I am planning on hitting Newcastle Marina and getting a Yacht. Lord Howe Island Here I come.

  • Detachable Princess

    Your brother has a ute and a machete – you’d better bloody well hope HE doesn’t go zombie on you, or you’re FUUUUUCKED. 😀

  • Rose Russo

    Bahahaha… oh T this made me laugh “we both got a fright as we saw a woman shuffling along in a very zombie-like state. We were relieved when she yawned and stopped for coffee”

    It reminded me of one of my favourite movies Shaun of the dead when they are throwing records at the zombie in the back yard. LOL. “She’s so drunk”

    I seriously think I’d be screwed if zombies ever invaded us! I’ll drive to yours 😉

  • Jessica Chapman

    I’ve always just assumed that if anything like a zombie apocalypse happened I would most likely die, I can’t run in any shoes on any surface, have absolutely no practical skills, bad aim, no upper body strength (so I’d be useless with a machete). The only use I would be as a sacrificial goat for the group I was with by slowing the zombies down as they devoured my brain.

    So if you see me in the event of a zombie apocalypse go ahead and assume I’m already a zombie and proceed with your zombie killing.

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