Have you ever been to Ikea? Or KMart? You walk in with your list of things you need, maybe just one thing, and you walk out with ALL THE THINGS. And, more often than not, not the thing you went in for.

This happened to me the other day. I went in to KMart for an electric blanket, to ensure Stepdaughter was OK acclimatising from her Qld home to the freezing cold of Sydney. Did I walk out of there with an electric blanket? No. But I did buy 2 heaters, a cushion, ping pong balls and 2 fit balls. Oh yeah, and some face wipes. As you do.

What is it about places like this? Every time I go in it’s like I’ve found all the things I never knew I always needed. I never knew I wanted a mirror that was actually 3 really thin mirrors side by side until I saw them in Target, but now I do. In fact, I need them. I also totally need a fancy soap dispenser for the bathroom with a matching toothbrush holder and shower caddy.

Yes, I need all of those

Last trip to Ikea saw us not only filled with cheap breakfast (pancakes for $4?! Yes please!) but we also walked out with somewhere in the vicinity of 14 bookshelves, a lint roller, tea towels and who knows what else. I’m sure I have tiny little pots for herbs around here somewhere.

It’s for this reason it’s generally safer to just not enter these stores. I don’t really need an ironing board cover that matches my iron and if I think about it for 10 seconds I think I know that. But walking through those stores fills me with a misguided sense of hope. All logic fails me like my wallet is superman and this store is my retail cryptonite.

Sometimes I think maybe if I buy all those things my house too will be a temple of organisation. No longer will it have random piles of crap or a tap that keeps falling off in the shower, no, it will be like it stepped straight out of Beautiful Homes magazine. With it’s matching soap dispenser and all.

Do you get caught in the Ikea trap? What’s your shopping cryptonite? What’s the most useless thing you have ever bought?

Buy all the things here with original from Hyperbole and a Half

Lost in Ikea

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