It is my belief that Lily and Marshall have the best relationship on TV. How I Met Your Mother is my favourite sitcom simply because it is so easy to watch. I’ve grown tired of watching fucked up relationship dramas where the guy never gets the girl, or the guy gets the girl but then royally screws up what he thought he wanted, but didn’t.
Lily and Marshall are a breath of fresh air in a very stale and tired group of depressing TV couples. Number one: they are best friends and love to poke fun at each other. They also enjoy spending time with their friends. There’s no denying that they’re both incredibly dorky, but they never pretend to be someone they’re not and live in their own little bubble of romance 99% of the time. So, I wonder whether there is some truth in the marrying your best friend philosophy. After all, looks don’t last forever and what you want at the end of the day is someone you can share your silly dreams with.
It is my belief that the most attractive characteristic in a partner is a sense of humour. Without this everything else is just kind of lost. A sense of humour creates chemistry, the good kind not the mind boggling final year of high school kind. Your best friend is the type of person that you can just be yourself with and you know that they’ll always be there for you. They’re usually the person you turn to when your parents/sister/boss is pissing you off, and they always welcome you into their home with a sympathetic ear (and hopefully some Jack and coke and plenty of chocolate in my case).
The thing I love most about friendships you can rely on is silence.You can sit there for hours chatting away, laughing, engaging with one another but when things slow down and there’s no reason to fill in the silences, only then have you truly found your best friend.
The word best friend is a bit dated I’ll admit, it reminds me of high school where people would ask who your best friend was or make you choose between two people because for heavens sake only ONE person could ever be classified as your “best” friend. It’s a bit bullshit really, we have different people in our lives for different reasons and we connect with them all differently. Relying on one friend to be everything to us is a slippery slope to co-dependence. I think we all have some experience with that.
Stanford Blatch, Carrie’s gay husband in SATC, once admitted he visited a shrink to deal with his life from time to time. He had three shrinks in total – one for when he wanted a shoulder to cry on, one for when he wanted tough love, and the other for when he wanted to stare at a gorgeous man.
Just like Stanford’s three psychologists – sometimes our girlfriends can act as different support systems. One might be able to listen better than the others, or tell you what you need to hear but don’t want to listen to and another might give you a swift kick up the arse and tell you to suck it up. Naturally, you know what their reactions will be to certain situations so you go to them knowing how they’ll cope with your news.
While a lot of people in their 20s seem focussed on finding the right person to marry and possibly starting a family, it is my firm belief that your 20s aren’t necessarily about that. In my extended family those who married in their 20s have ended up divorcing and finding another partner, which in my opinion suits them much better. Getting married early on isn’t always bad news – there are plenty of examples of strong marriages which started out in high school or the years thereafter.
But, the person you think is right for you at this stage in your life might not be in 10, 20 or even 30 years time. The Turbulent Twenties are a time for self discovery (and a hell of a lot of confusion). Getting married before you have a decent amount of time on your own is a risk. So is settling down for the wrong reasons. Once you hit a certain age (we all have a limit) we feel that whoever we’re with when the music stops, we should marry. It’s kind of the same philosophy that a lot of women feel in their early twenties – okay, so by 25 I will have met the love of my life; by 27 I’ll be married; first child at 29 then second at 32… oh and then maybe work on my career, cure aids and travel the globe with my brood Angelina-style.
Stop. I say it’s time we forget the five or ten year plans and just focus on each day. If we are supposed to get married, have children, get Georgie Gardner’s job (perhaps that’s just me) then it’ll happen. Sometimes you just have to let things take their course and if something is difficult then perhaps it’s not meant to be. I’m not saying that Prince Charming is going to end up on your doorstep – you need to make a bit of effort; taking a shower and venturing out the door is a start.
But, I do think that people get caught up in the whole parade of what it looks and feels like to be part of a twosome. You may have Mr Eye Candy hanging off your arm, but is he really giving you stimulating conversation? Perhaps it’s time to take a look around at the people who make you have a great belly laugh, because truly these are ones you’ll want to grow old with.
Do you see yourself marrying your best friend? Or have you found them already?
Rose Russo has written 56 posts.
Rose is a freelance writer, blogger and self confessed chocoholic who could quite easily live on a diet of turkish delight and English breakfast tea. She loves the fast paced nature of online media but sometimes feels like she’s the only member of Gen Y who still gets excited to pick up the newspaper on weekend mornings. If anyone has a Sportsgirl addiction cure please let her know [I may be on a first-name basis at my local store] She also writes a weekly column focusing on relationships, friendship and life stuff on her blog at The Budding Rose
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