The recent episode with Samantha Brick has made me have a think about perception, beauty, reality and popularity. It took me a little while to arrange my thoughts on it, and when I did I found they had little, if anything, to do with Samantha Brick and everything to do with some generalisations and assumptions made based on appearance. Not just by Samantha, and those who have commented on the article, but also by many others in society.
1. Beauty is not skin deep
If I look nice, I must be beautiful, right? Wrong. I could be pretty and not be beautiful. I’m sure we have all met, known and seen people like this. Pretty is well formed molecules. It is a well arranged face. It is genes that make you tall, or thin, have large breasts or whatever else happens to be considered pretty at that particular point in time. Do anything of these things make you beautiful? No. Not at all. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, beauty is in the soul.
How you look doesn’t make you beautiful, you are beautiful in spite of how you look.
A person who is beautiful is so much more than pretty. They are beautiful because of their personality, their attitude and the way they behave towards others. They are beautiful because of who they are, not what they look like. Which brings me to my second point.
2. The key to popularity is how you make others feel
If you want people to like you, it’s easy – give them a reason to. Whether or not people like you has absolutely nothing to do with how you look and everything to do with how you make them feel. If you make them feel like they are somehow inferior to you, they won’t like you. If you make them feel like they are worthy, worthwhile, loved and valued, they will.
In the media we are often taught that the way to the top is to drag others down. Maybe it is, I don’t know, I’ve never reached the top. But if that’s how it works, I’m sure it’s awful lonely when you get there.
If you find that people don’t like you, and it’s not just one or two people (no one is liked by everyone all the time, it just doesn’t happen) if it’s actually quite a lot of people, then the reason is most likely how they feel when they are around you. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world but if you make them feel good, they will like you. Some of the top supermodels are proof of this. How you look has nothing to do with it.
My final point is slightly more related to Samantha Brick, I will admit.
3. You don’t have to bite the donut to know it’s sweet
If you are, in fact, better looking than I am, you don’t need to tell me that. I already know. Telling me isn’t helpful. To me, being prettier is like being a lady or being powerful. If you have to tell me that you are, you probably aren’t.